慢思空間

光之家人-看清楚自己

dear heart,The idea of falling in love is a very common and very sweet fantasy. Many people think that the most beautiful moments of their lives are when they fall in love with someone. But I don't think so. The most beautiful thing in life, in my opinion, is having complete freedom to be yourself. And when you don't have any attachment to anything, neither to a person nor to a belief system or to a country, nor to your reputation, your name or anything else, When there is no attachment, then you are free.
親愛的，墜入愛河是一個非常平常非常甜美的幻想。很多人認為生活中最美好的時刻就是墜入愛河的時刻。但我不這麼認為。在我看來，生活中最美好的東西就是能夠自由做自己。當你並不依附於任何東西或者人或者一個信念或國度或名聲等等，當沒有依附，你就是自由的。

The need to be in a relationship with someone is one of the biggest causes of unhappiness. There are two reasons for this:
需要和別人處於一段關係中是其中一個不快樂的原因。有著兩個緣由：

First, because we simply don't understand ourselves fully, how can we be with someone else? The more we try to control others, the more insecure we become and the less happy we will be.
第一，因為我們並不完全了解自己，我們又如何與他人相處？我們越想要控制別人，我們變得越沒有安全感和不開心。

Second, when we feel lonely, we chase after people. We want to fill that void inside of us. But when a person realizes their true nature, they feel complete within themselves. He doesn't need anything from the outside world to make him happy.
第二，當我們感到孤獨，我們就去追逐別人。我們想要填補內在的那個空虛。但當一個人意識到自己真正的本質，他們會感到完整。他不需要外在的任何東西來讓自己開心。

We tend to project our own desires onto other people: "If you really loved me, you would do this for me." This leads to disappointment because no one can fulfill your expectations, which have nothing to do with reality anyway.
我們傾向於把自己的渴望投射到別人身上“如果你真的愛我，你就為我這麼做。”這會導向失望，因為沒人可以滿足你的期望。

When you realize that nobody can make you happy except yourself, it is a great relief. You are no longer trapped by your desires or expectations. You never have to say "if only" again; there is nothing missing from your life, and you don't have to depend on anyone else for your happiness.
當你意識到沒人可以讓你開心除了你自己，這會是一個巨大的慰藉。你不再被你的渴望或期望困住。你永遠不需要再說“只要”；你的生活中沒什麼東西丟失，你不需要把你的快樂寄託於任何人。

It takes two to tango. It is impossible to love someone if you are incapable of being alone. If you are unable to be with yourself, it is impossible for you to be with another. You cannot share yourself because if you try, you will lose yourself. Then there will be no freedom left for you. You would have given your freedom away to the other person and become a slave, a prisoner.
一個巴掌拍不響。如果你無法一個人生活你也無法愛別人。如果你無法與自己相處，你也無法與別人相處。你無法分享自己，因為如果你嘗試，你會失去自己。那麼你就不會有什麼自由。你會把你的自由交給另一個人，成為了俘虜。

The one who loves never loses anything by loving; rather, he gains everything. That is the paradox. Only by risking it can one ever find security. That is why only those who can be alone are capable of loving, sharing, and entering the innermost core of another person — without possessing, becoming reliant on, transforming the other into a thing, or becoming addicted to the other. They give the other complete freedom because they know they will be as happy as they are now if the other departs. The other cannot take their happiness because the other does not provide it.
懂得愛的人永遠不會因為愛而失去任何東西。相反，他會獲得一切。這是悖論。只有冒險的人才能找到安全感。所以只有能夠一個人生活的人能夠去愛、分享、進入另一個人的內心---而不佔有、依賴、改變另一個人。他們給予另一個人自由，因為他們知道如果另一個人離開，他們也會和現在一樣開心。另一個人無法拿走他們的快樂，因為另一個人並不提供它。

Love is not a relationship between two people. It is a relationship between one person and himself. When you love someone, you love that aspect of yourself that you are capable of seeing in another human being. That's why the other is so important to you. That's why he or she is so precious to you. Without the other, you can never see yourself.
愛不是兩個人之間的一段關係。而是一個人和自己的關係。當你愛某個人，你愛是的你在另一個人之內看到的某個自我面向。所以另一個人對你來說如此重要。所以他/她對你來說如此珍貴。沒有另一個人，你永遠看不到自己。

The possibilities of love are not in a relationship in which one has to depend on another, but in a relationship in which both are independent and can really love each other—each loves the other because he loves himself and that other person allows him to see a bit more of himself.
愛並不存在於一個人需要依賴於另一個人的關係中，而是兩人都能夠靠自己生活，能夠真正愛彼此的關係中---愛彼此因為他愛自己，另一個人允許他看到更多的自己。

Truly loving someone means seeing him as he is, without any effort on your part to change him or make him different, and without any expectations from him whatsoever; just accept him as he is. The real love does not think about changing the object of his love; he loves it as it is.
真正愛一個人意味著看到他的所是，不去試圖改變他或讓他變得不同，不去期望他什麼。只是接納他的所是。真正的愛並不思考改變另一個人。

The truth is that in a relationship, you're not supposed to be dependent on the other. In fact, when two people are really in love, they help each other grow, they challenge each other, and they bring out the best in each other. You're not supposed to create an addiction to each other. You should be independent and whole even when you're apart--capable of loving others if the person you love is no longer there.
事實就是在一段關係中，你不應該變得要依賴另一個人。事實上，當兩個人真正愛彼此，他們會幫助彼此成長，他們會挑戰彼此，他們會把彼此最好的一面帶出來。你不應該對另一個人產生依賴。你應該獨立、完整，即使當你們分開---即使你愛的人不在了，你也能夠去愛別人。

A relationship is a union of two people who have accepted each other's differences and decided to build on those differences. They see the negative sides of their partner as well, but instead of focusing on the negativity, they choose to focus on the positive parts. A relationship is all about learning from your partner and building a lasting connection with them.
一段關係是兩個“接納彼此的不同並決定基於那些不同建立”的人的聯合。他們也會看到伴侶的消極面向，但與其專注於消極，他們選擇專注於積極的部分。一段關係是關於向你的伴侶學習，與他們建立一個持久的連接。

Truly loving someone is the most selfless act you can do. When you love someone, you don't act out of fear, neediness, or compulsion. It's not about what you can get from them or how they make you feel. You love that person because that person makes your life complete and meaningful--because every day with them brings something new, exciting, and beautiful into your life.
真正愛一個人是你可以做出的最無私的舉動。當你愛某個人，你不會出於恐懼、需求或衝動行為。它不是關於你可以從他們身上得到什麼或他們讓你有什麼感受。你愛那個人因為那個人讓你的生命完整有意義---因為每天和他們在一起會帶來新的、激動人心的、美麗的東西。

When you're capable of this kind of love, it radiates from within and all around you. People who experience it will never forget it and will always come back for more. They'll fall in love with whatever aspect of your life touches them—your smile, your eyes, your spirit—but it all comes back to this love that shines through everything you are.
當你能夠擁有這樣的愛，它會從你之內和周圍散發。體驗它的人永遠不會忘記它，總是會回來想要更多。他們會愛上任何觸動他們的面向---你的微笑、眼神、精神---但一切都會回到通過你所是的一切閃耀的愛。

The ability to be alone and enjoy your own company sets you up for a healthy relationship. If you are not able to be happy when you are alone, the chances are that you may be addicted to your partner or be in an unhealthy relationship with them. You will feel sad about them leaving or being away from you, and in your mind, you will become dependent on them being around for your happiness. In such a scenario, if the other person leaves or is not around anymore, you will feel miserable and lonely.
一個人生活以及享受陪伴的能力會讓你建立一段健康的關係。如果當你一個人獨處的時候無法開心，你可能會對你的伴侶產生依賴或者與他們擁有不健康的關係。你會對他們的離去感到悲傷，在你的頭腦中，你會依賴於讓他們處於你身邊來變得開心。在這樣的情況下，如果另一個人離開或不在你身邊，你會感到痛苦和孤獨。

The heart is as big as the world, and if you are true, every living being belongs to your heart.
心就和世界一樣大，如果你是真心的，每個生物都屬於你的心。

We love you dearly.
我們很愛你。

We are here with you.
我們與你在一起。

We are your family of light.
我們是光之家人。

傳導：Aurora

翻譯：NickChan